Random thoughts. I haven’t done one of these in a while. I doubt anyone was losing any sleep over the fact that my random thoughts were not written and documented for the world to see in well over a year. There is no time like the present. It is said that a man has a sexual thought every 6 seconds. I thought I would let you delve into my thoughts that had nothing to do with sexuality at all. These are all thoughts I have had run through my head recently and I have taken the time out of my day to jot them down for being either quirky, inane or insane. Here we go...
-The last time Swine flu came to America, the vaccine killed more people than the virus did. Seriously. It was a wonderful and marvelous time when Gerald Ford was in the White House, bell-bottom pants were still in style and the world had not a care in the world... except the emerging economic crisis and the incredible lack of nationalism found in a failed war and a crooked presidency. At least everyone was still clinging to Disco right?
-How come there are so few bands named after geographical locations anymore? Did we tap the market in the 70's and 80's. Kansas, Boston, Chicago... I am waiting in intense anticipation for a band named something like Sacramento or Birmingham. Dont forget Asia. They were big enough for an entire continent. The biggest one was perhaps Foreigner. They laid claim to everyone who was not an American and made us ponder what the "First Time" really felt like.
-Have the creative directors at VH1 been on vacation for about 5 years. If every show you air has a 2 or 3 after the title, it can’t be considered original programming. Do you really think Bret Michaels is looking for true love? Do you think that anyone who competed for his love belongs on television or in a mental institution? I mean, now they have a charm school show that does not truly try to rehabilitate these lost souls, instead, it shoves booze down their throats and lets them, well do their thing. Also, I am 65% sure that "New York" is a guy in drag.
-If the world is supposed to end in 2012, I will be more angry than sad or scared. Think about the line we will have to endure at the pearly gaits. I picture it being run like the Department of Motor Vehicles. I will take a number and it will be something like ‘4,543,896,002' and the little digital read out will say something like ‘43.’ My reaction would be to suspect I had ended up in hell.
-If I leave my room now and drive to the gas station, I may be involved in a fatal accident which changes the course of history forever. If I wait two minutes, the accident may avoid me but then we just travel down another alternate future which could lead to worse things than my own death. I watched Back To The Future entirely too much growing up.
-Shamwow is looking for a new spokesperson. How hard could that job be? In case you hadn't heard, the creepy skinny guy they used to have doing the commercial was recently seriously bitten on the tongue by a prostitute in Florida. Turns out the Shamwow people think that this could hurt their image. I say, the product speaks for itself. I could sell the shit out of that spongy rag.
-Who were some of the actors on "Chicago Hope"? I can name a bunch from ER but none from that terrible show. Hector Elizondo...ok, there’s one. That is all for that thought.
-Dire Straits could have either been one of the most insightful groups ever or one of the most random. Listen to "Sultans of Swing" or "Bug" and tell me they aren’t either deep or lost.
-The last time Swine flu came to America, the vaccine killed more people than the virus did. Seriously. It was a wonderful and marvelous time when Gerald Ford was in the White House, bell-bottom pants were still in style and the world had not a care in the world... except the emerging economic crisis and the incredible lack of nationalism found in a failed war and a crooked presidency. At least everyone was still clinging to Disco right? 
-How come there are so few bands named after geographical locations anymore? Did we tap the market in the 70's and 80's. Kansas, Boston, Chicago... I am waiting in intense anticipation for a band named something like Sacramento or Birmingham. Dont forget Asia. They were big enough for an entire continent. The biggest one was perhaps Foreigner. They laid claim to everyone who was not an American and made us ponder what the "First Time" really felt like.
-Have the creative directors at VH1 been on vacation for about 5 years. If every show you air has a 2 or 3 after the title, it can’t be considered original programming. Do you really think Bret Michaels is looking for true love? Do you think that anyone who competed for his love belongs on television or in a mental institution? I mean, now they have a charm school show that does not truly try to rehabilitate these lost souls, instead, it shoves booze down their throats and lets them, well do their thing. Also, I am 65% sure that "New York" is a guy in drag.
-If the world is supposed to end in 2012, I will be more angry than sad or scared. Think about the line we will have to endure at the pearly gaits. I picture it being run like the Department of Motor Vehicles. I will take a number and it will be something like ‘4,543,896,002' and the little digital read out will say something like ‘43.’ My reaction would be to suspect I had ended up in hell.
-If I leave my room now and drive to the gas station, I may be involved in a fatal accident which changes the course of history forever. If I wait two minutes, the accident may avoid me but then we just travel down another alternate future which could lead to worse things than my own death. I watched Back To The Future entirely too much growing up.
-Is it possible to pull a muscle without actually doing anything? I realize that I have been living a fairly sedentary lifestyle of late but when I suddenly grab a joint in pain while sitting, that is a bad sign, right? I think I have that disease from the movie "Jack" where he ages incredibly fast. If that is the case, I hope I get Alzheimmers. At least I will meet new people every day.
-Shamwow is looking for a new spokesperson. How hard could that job be? In case you hadn't heard, the creepy skinny guy they used to have doing the commercial was recently seriously bitten on the tongue by a prostitute in Florida. Turns out the Shamwow people think that this could hurt their image. I say, the product speaks for itself. I could sell the shit out of that spongy rag.
-Who were some of the actors on "Chicago Hope"? I can name a bunch from ER but none from that terrible show. Hector Elizondo...ok, there’s one. That is all for that thought.
-Dire Straits could have either been one of the most insightful groups ever or one of the most random. Listen to "Sultans of Swing" or "Bug" and tell me they aren’t either deep or lost.That is all for now. Piece y’all.
2 comments:
Are you serious about the shamwow guy? I hadn't heard that. And you can't make that shi* up.
I'm right there with ya about 'New York.' If she's a woman, I'm a flying unicorn. Maybe they'll make a new show staring her called "Suprise! I'm a man!"...
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